He was a coward but I was too blind to know it.

He used to be my hero

Stand up to the teacher that 

Would discredit me and my work

At school

Always coming to my defense with 

My stepmother

And other family members 

But he didn't have the balls to stand up to patriarchy 

And this new renewed faith that told him he was no man if he couldn't control his women

He couldn't stand up to them

He stood no chance to men so strong in number and misogyny disguised as conviction in their faith 

We would walk out of our home and me without hijab and his new friend the sheikh would tell ME, my fathers daughter, to go back in the house and cover myself and my father would be standing there silent... As a coward who had no balls to say, no and mind your own business

He said, I embarrassed him

He couldn't go anywhere because of me

And my shameful behavior

I was 12

What shameful behavior was I capable of?

I just wanted to read and write my poetry. I wanted to dance in the wind with my hair flowing and the sun shining on me... I wanted to feel and experience happiness, like I used to before religion found its way to my father's mind and corrupted it

A coward he was who wouldn't stand up for me when the neighbor boys harassed me and got suspended from school for it... He said, I provoked them. He was a coward! How low can you stoop when you accuse your minor daughter of provoking grown men and not stand up for her and vilify their behavior?

Such is the power of patriarchy. It makes a grown man lose his basic instinct to protect his daughter